Reclaimed From The Moon (Wolf River, ID. Book 3) Page 10

  He pulled up to find all the lights off. He looked at the clock. It was only nine p.m.; he couldn't imagine she was sleeping already.

  He opened the front door and sniffed the air. Her scent lingered but she wasn't there.

  Panic traversed his spine and he took a deep breath. Bowgie's toys still scattered the floor so she couldn't have gone far. He tried to think of where she might be.

  NA. Scott would have taken her to NA.

  He hopped back into the Jeep and drove out of the neighborhood, toward the church she'd mentioned. It took him twenty minutes to get there but by the time he had his pulse raced. He’d practiced what he wanted to say. The things he needed to tell her. The promises he wouldn't break again.

  He waited in his car until people started leaving the building.

  In pairs of twos and threes they exited. He stepped from the driver's seat and leaned on the Jeep. Keep calm. He needed to keep calm. After several minutes the groups slowed and his tension ratcheted higher. He spotted Scott but there was no Dakota. Panic hit him in a rush. He strode over to Scott.

  "Hey Griffin." Scott scanned the area.

  Griffin swallowed his pride and held out his hand.

  Scott looked at it for only a second before shaking it. "What are you doing here?"

  "I'm looking for Dakota. She said she had NA meetings here."

  Scott stared at him for a minute. "She didn't tell you?"

  His heartbeat thundered. "Tell me what?"

  "The Night Shift found her a new place."

  A chill dropped over Griffin like a bucket of ice water. "Do you know where she is?"

  Scott shook his head. "She didn't say. But she promised to call me when she got settled."

  "Thanks." Griffin dashed back to his Jeep and pulled his phone from this pocket. He hit Tate's name and put the phone to his ear.

  He turned on his car and put it in gear.

  "Night Shift this is Tate, what's your emergency?"

  "Tate? It's Griffin."

  "Hey."

  "Where is she?"

  "Griffin–"

  "Where is she Tate? You have to tell me. I need to find her. Things are crap between us but I can't let her go. Not like this."

  Silence flooded the line. "Hold on."

  Griffin sat waiting as one minute turned into two. He slammed his hand on the steering wheel and cursed himself. They weren't going to tell him. It was all his fault. He should never have gone to Cassie's. He should have told her the truth right then and there. He never should have walked out of that damn house.

  "Griffin?"

  "Yeah."

  "I can tell you we got her a bus ticket and she was supposed to be on the bus leaving in twenty minutes. But I can't tell you any more than that. If she wants you to know where she's going, that's up to her."

  "Thank you. I owe you."

  Griffin hung up the phone and peeled out of the parking lot.

  The bus station was fifteen minutes away.

  Chapter Twelve

  Dakota sat in the deep blue seat, which crinkled when she moved, and stared out the tinted windows of the bus. Bowgie sat squished between her legs, his head in her lap.

  The scent of glass cleaner and carpet shampoo tried to cover the stench of bodies packed together in the overly abused seats.

  She eyed the people waiting to claim their seat and just wished for it all to end. The longer she sat, the more anxious her wolf became. Sitting on the bus, knowing she was leaving her mate behind wasn't something one did on a whim.

  She wished, just once, she could take a pill and sleep the whole way to Oregon. But that was one thing she would never do again. It was sleeping pills that had landed her butt in that seat to begin with.

  The passengers shuffled down the aisle, putting their bags under seats, and jostling for a spot. Her pulse kicked up as the scents of so many different people in one place, assaulted her. A trickle of sweat rolled down her spine and the more crowded it got, the higher her anxiety cranked. A large man in a brown suit stopped at the edge of her row. He looked from her to Bowgie and back.

  "Is anyone sitting here?"

  Her tongue clung to the roof of her mouth and she swallowed hard. Her wolf clawed at her, forcing a shift ripple through her body.

  Get out. She had to get out.

  The woman behind him gave an exasperated sigh. People piled up in the aisle way. All of them staring at her.

  The press of the humanity overloaded her and suddenly she wasn't on a bus anymore. She was back in a crowded bar, people jostling her from every side. Her head spinning, like she was going to vomit. She jumped out of her seat and pushed up stream to get off the bus. Bowgie barked and snapped from the back but she couldn't go back in there. She had to get out.

  "Miss? Miss? You'll lose your seat," called the bus driver.

  She burst out of the stairwell and almost fell to the pavement. Her stomach lurched but nothing came up. She bent over and gasped for breath as tears streamed from her eyes and memories bombarded her.

  People pushing and dancing and laughing. Loud music blaring in her ears. The stench of sweat, beer, drugs and sex. The roll of nausea in her stomach and the need to get out.

  "Hey lady are you on or off? Your dog is freaking out," someone called out the window.

  "Off!" she screamed. She pushed to her feet and the line of people waiting to get on the bus stared at her. She didn't care. She tried to focus through her blurry gaze.

  "Bowgie! Come!" Inside Bowgie jumped from seat to seat until he got to the front and stumbled out onto the pavement. He ran to her and she clung to his fur.

  "I'm in Boise. I'm with Bowgie. I'm at the bus station. I'm at the bus station. I'm at the bus station."

  A set of brakes screeched to a halt behind her.

  "Dakota!" Griffin ran to her and gathered her into his arms. Relief flooded her as she threw her arms around his neck. Sobbing on his shoulder, she was unable to control her panic. He held her tight and kissed her neck. Lifting her off the ground she wrapped her legs around his waist.

  Her adrenaline surged and her body trembled.

  "It's okay," he whispered. "I got you. I'm never gonna let you go."

  His words warmed her and she unleashed another round of unbidden tears. She needed him. He was hers and she was his and miles of separation wouldn't change that. But he'd chosen Cassie. He'd turned away from her.

  She dropped to the ground and pushed away from him. "What are you doing here, Griff?"

  "You can't go."

  She stared up at his deep dark eyes. "You didn't want me. You chose her."

  "No. I didn't choose her. I went with her because you told me to get out, and I'm sorry. It was a mistake. I don't want her I want you." He reached for her but she stepped away.

  "I'm not the same person I was. I won't be walked all over. I am the first to admit my mistakes but I won't be punished for them anymore. I'm a good person. A strong person. I'm not content to live your life anymore. I want my own."

  He licked his lips. "I know."

  "I'm still screwed up though. I have things... things in my past–"

  He wrapped his arms around her before she could protest. "And I'll be here for you– to help you get through them. Whatever you need. Rides to NA. Someone to listen to you. Someone to yell at. Someone to cry with. Whatever it is you need. I'll do it. I'm all in. You were there for me, for all those years. I can do the same for you now. I will do the same for you. The way I should have when I came home."

  She wanted to believe him. She wanted to be with him. But the only way they could truly start again was for her to tell him everything.

  "Excuse me Miss, but the bus needs to leave. We're already behind schedule."

  Griffin cupped her face. "If you want to leave and start over, I won't stop you. Whatever you need. I love you that much."

  Start over. Walk away. Put it all behind her once and for all. That's not what she wanted.

  "I want us," she said.

&nb
sp; Griffin broke into a heart-stopping smile and kissed her. "I won't let you down again. I won't."

  "Miss?"

  “It’s Mrs. Give me her bag," said Griffin. "She isn't going anywhere."

  Dakota swiped at her eyes and Griffin kept a tight arm about her as the bus driver located her bag and rolled it over.

  Griffin tipped the driver and then grabbed her bag and turned for the Jeep.

  "Come on babe, let's go home."

  They drove in silence, with Griffin gripping her hand tight, like he thought she might try to jump from the vehicle. He'd bought peonies, her favorite, and non-alcoholic wine. The sentiment caught her straight in the heart.

  He pulled into the driveway, opened her door for her and rolled her bag into the house. The tension between them bounced around like a ping-pong ball. He took her flowers and put them in a vase as she sat on the couch unable to relax. Bowgie grabbed his bone and lay at her feet gnawing on it.

  She tried to sort out her thoughts and feelings. So much had happened in the last week that she could barely keep everything straight. Her stomach knotted. There were things they were going to talk about, things she needed to tell him. To come clean.

  Griffin walked back in with two glasses and handed her one.

  "Are you sure you wouldn't rather have a beer?" she asked.

  He shook his head. "No more beer."

  She stared at him a moment. "I don't want you to change who you are because of me."

  "I'll change everything for you." He set down his glass on the coffee table. "When you told me you were pregnant, I shut down. I didn't want to hear anything, know anything, or deal with anything. I was so hurt and so… embarrassed."

  "It wasn't your fault."

  "Wasn't it? Obviously you needed me and I wasn't there for you. That's my fault. Following my dreams without thinking about how they would affect you. That's my fault."

  "Griffin. I need to tell you something–"

  "No." He set down her glass and took her hands. "I don't need to know. I don't need you to apologize. I don't need to hear any of it. I forgive you and I need you to forgive me. I just want to put it behind us and move forward. I see now, that's what you tried to do, but I kicked you out. And, as much as I want to think I tried to move on too, I didn't. I let our past ruin our future and I don't want to do that anymore. Forgive me. Tell me you want to stay."

  He wanted her to forgive him. To put everything behind them. That was so much easier said than done.

  "You need to understand. I still struggle. Not a lot but there are moments. Sleepless moments, stressful moments, when I crave peace. I crave a pill to take away the pain. I haven’t slipped. Not one time in the last eleven months three weeks and two days. But that doesn't mean I don't struggle."

  "And I'm here for you. When you feel weak you let me know. I'll run the hills with you. I'll hold you. Whatever, whenever. I thought I lost you twice this week and it almost killed me. I'm not going to let that happen again."

  His eyes penetrated straight to her inner wolf. She touched his face and he pressed his cheek into her hand then turned and kissed her palm. Tingles skittered along her skin.

  Behind them. She needed to put everything behind them. Forward. A Future. That's what she wanted. She needed to let the guilt go from what had happened. If he could forgive her, she needed to forgive herself.

  She scooted closer and he wrapped his hand in her hair and kissed her softly. His tongue swirled over her lips and a shiver ran through her. She slid onto his lap and straddled him as he ran his hands under her shirt and over her skin. She grabbed his face and kissed him harder.

  Griffin growled deep in his chest and she broke the kiss to bite the tendon in his throat.

  He unclasped her bra then slid her shirt and bra off. With his mouth on her skin, she arched and grabbed his hair. Warmth pooled in her belly and desire coursed through her. She pulled his mouth to hers again and claimed it. He broke the kiss and took several breaths.

  "Easy." He kissed her softly.

  She didn’t want soft. She didn't want easy. She wanted him hot and sweaty and on his back.

  He carried her to their room, laid her down on the bed and slowly took off her shoes. Rolling the socks off her feet one by one he then stripped off his shirt and leaned over her. Licking from her throat down to her navel he continued to kiss circles on her skin as he shimmied off her leggings and underwear. He kissed lower, over her hipbones and down the inside of her thighs.

  Dakota threw her hands over her head and grabbed the sheets behind her as he kissed and suckled her until she thought her head might burst from pressure.

  "Griff."

  He paid no attention and continued to lick her sensitive skin.

  "Griff," she panted. "I need you."

  He kissed over her hip and up her side, sliding his pants off at the same time. He pushed her further up the bed and then entered her slow– she locked her legs behind his and grabbed his rear.

  This time she kept her eyes open and on his face. He kissed her, keeping his eyes on her as well. His rhythm stayed steady and slow as he moved in a circular motion, thrusting and grinding into her. Tingles spread up the small of her back. Her muscles tensed and pulsed with the anticipation of release. He kissed her again and she lifted her hips to meet him. Need rolled over her, quicker and quicker, starting small, like ripples in a pond, they spread out, growing stronger and closer together until they consumed her. His body strained and tensed as he called her name.

  They climaxed together as the scent of their bonding permeated the room. She bit down on his neck, her fangs piercing his skin. He pulled her to him and cradled her in his arms. Out of breath they held each other, neither speaking. Minutes passed and she stared at the ceiling. She was home. Finally, home.

  * * *

  Griffin lay contented with Dakota in his arms. The sweet scent of her body lingering on every surface of their bed. Their bed. He never thought he’d say those words again. Even his wolf lay satisfied at the turn of events. He’d told her to tell him nothing and he meant it but he still worried about her state of mind. He’d seen her at the bus station, as well as in his garage, after they'd sparred. He didn't want to push her but it was obvious though, something more than drug-use plagued her.

  He kissed her head. "Do you want to tell me what happened the other day when we were on the mats? And why weren’t you on the bus when I came to get you tonight? "

  She laid her face against his side and kissed his rib. "I… don't do well in crowds anymore. Or confined spaces. I get anxiety, panic attacks, stuff like that. I'm controlling it pretty well but every once in a while, it gets the better of me."

  "Is that why you got Bowgie?"

  "I didn't get him per se. I saved him."

  "How so?" He tucked her against his chest.

  She sighed. "I'd been at a bar downtown about a month after… I left… and I went outside to smoke a joint. When I reached the alleyway I smelled blood. Some dicks were using Bowgie as bait in a dogfight. He was no more than a pup and by the time I reached him he was almost gone."

  Griffin held his breath and waited.

  "Anyway, I'm sure those guys won't be fighting dogs anytime soon. I took Bowgie home and nursed him back to health. It was then that I decided to get sober. I had to. He needed me."

  "But tonight, when you saw me, your anxiety seemed to go away."

  "Don't flatter yourself." She chuckled.

  "No, but really. How bad is it? When did it start?"

  She shrugged. "A while back. It's why I walk everywhere and learned BJJ. I needed to take care of myself."

  "So, is that something we need to work on as well? Getting you into crowds?"

  She lay silent for a minute. "As long as you're with me, I don't think it will be a problem."

  He rolled over and opened the nightstand drawer. He pulled out the divorce papers and showed them to her before ripping them into pieces.

  "I'm not going anywhere."

 
* * *

  Dakota slept soundly again next to Griffin for the first time in over a year. The following day they went to the store to get some real food and Griffin helped her marinade steaks for dinner.

  It all felt so natural. Being home, with Griffin. But one question still nagged her– now what? What about her job? His schooling and work? What about her friends? Her meetings? Things still needed to be worked out.

  "Hey." He looked up from his textbooks at the counter.

  She finished rinsing the mixing bowl. "What's up? You done studying already?"

  "No. I just wondered." He tapped his pencil on his textbook. "What do you think about us leaving Boise?"

  "You just got me to stay."

  He chuckled. "Yeah, I know but, what do you think about us starting again somewhere else."

  She wiped her hands on a dishtowel. "Where would we go?"

  "What if we went home?"

  Wolf River. "Back north? But what would you do for school?"

  He shrugged. "I could go to Northern Idaho."

  "Do they have pre-med?" She sat the bowl on the drying rack.

  "You know I'm thinking maybe being a doctor isn't what I want to do."

  "Well, what do you want to do then?"

  "I am thinking a nurse practitioner would be good. And it wouldn't take as long. I have time to decide but I just keep looking at all the years I have ahead of me. I don't know that I want to spend all that time in school and working too. I won't ever see you, or the kids."

  "Kids?" She swallowed.

  "Well, not today but we waited six years for me to get out of the military. And… well, I'm out."

  A baby. Kids. She didn't know what to say. Moving away. Quitting her job. Yesterday she'd been ready to do that but today…

  "It's soon. I know, but just think about it."

  She nodded. "All right."

  The following morning Griffin brought her breakfast in bed and she had to tell him to stop making a fuss.

  "This isn't how things will always be," she said.